Poem About Working Through Childhood Trauma

Dealing with Childhood Trauma Triggers Poem

My last blog post was about dealing with my childhood trauma by releasing my fears. I wrote that post hopeful that I wouldn’t find myself re-triggered by my daughter’s thumb sucking. I had a few moments where I felt overwhelmed again, and I went back through the process written in my last blog post. I am 100% confident with how I feel internally around my eldest daughter that I have released those vile emotions that were slowly destroying the loving connection my daughter and I had.

I cannot explain in words how momentous learning to release my feelings was, and now I feel I could face any triggers to come head on and without impacting on my children. I also feel my connection has fully restored with my daughter. Unlike a few months ago when I tried blocking any thumb sucking moments out of my mind, I now look forward to sitting next to my daughter all day long, eyes open and ears listening to every part of her, thumb sucking and all. That’s huge progress to me and my whole family.

What I Didn’t Expect

When I wanted so much to have a child of my own

I could never foresee what joy one would bring

Suddenly I was overwhelmed, with 3 babies so small

My baggage started creeping out, like an alarm chiming

Parenting one was a pleasure and ease,

Fast forward to 3 and I felt weak at the knees

I coped without sleep, with tantrums and the abc’s

Sadly I was not coping with the traumas passed down my family tree

I desparately covered my eyes with one hand and used that thumb to block my hearing

Gentle parenting forums seemed to frown, saying I needed to consider her feelings

But I needed to release these overwhelming emotions from my inner being

I felt an internal hell, like the tide of our loving bond was slowly turning

I couldn’t continue being this mother I feared

I searched high and low trying to help my angry mind be cleared

I even resorted to manipulation to try and stop being triggered

I felt I was failing at the gentle parenting I had for so long adhered

Then I stumbled like a newborn foal

Upon a post about going down a rabbit hole

I finally had regained control of myself and my mothering role

Leaving my child’s innocence protected through nurturing my own sole

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