Poem: Premature Twin in Intensive Care

NICU Baby Gentle Parenting Poem

Having one twin in intensive care, while you and the other twin are in another place, is simply soul destroying. You have overwhelming pain that make it nearly impossible to move without help. This makes it impossible to go and visit your twin in intensive care very much. You have to convince yourself that the NICU twin is in the best hands. Unfortunately for our little twin, we did not feel many of the actions they took were in our baby’s best interests. I wrote the poem in this blog about our experience of intensive care.

Poem About Our Intensive Care Baby

When I first met you, you were whisked away as fast as a cheetah after its prey

I didn’t know what would happen to you, or if you’d come back one day!

I wanted so much to see you, and to do things my own way

But someone else acted as Mummy all through the night and day

I pumped breastmilk and asked the nurses if it was enough

They said “yes of course, it’s plenty, we’ll pass it up”

2 days on when I saw you, the NICU nurse says “we’ve been supplementing”

I knew I could have pumped more, had someone let me know; I felt messed up

“Can I breastfeed her” I asked at our first meeting in intensive care

“No you can’t, no way” the nurse said, it would mess up their measurements

I didn’t feel it was fair to stay as I felt like I was causing your distress

I couldn’t visit the next day as I could barely move due to pain

That nurse said to my husband “your wife needs to see her baby”

Not offering to come and help me up, or understand my agony

If I could have had all of us together, trust me I would

But when you’ve been sliced down the middle and stitched up, it’s impossible to split yourself in two

“Can we give her a dummy” one of the nurses asked

No way, I said. The next morning I was flabbergast

There beside you, my tiny girl, lay a dummy by your cheek

The carers were sneaky while my girl and I were weak

One day on and I secretly breastfed through agreement with another nurse

Hooray I felt, as my twin suckled away, we had finally taken one step forward

The other nurse was angry, it was messing up her graphs

I passed her over to the kinder nurse who explained how her knowledge was flawed

I insisted now that I wanted to breastfeed on demand, by stretching myself in 2

They told me I should care for myself and the other twin as a priority

I blankly said I’ll do what it takes, call me anytime, nothing else would do

One day later you were reunited with your twin and me, finally

When I intervened and took you back into my arms

I felt like we were finally a complete family filled with my three lucky charms

I made a pact to keep you safe from harm

Because now our lives together kept us loving without any alarm

My special girl, you’ve proven gold is at the end of the rainbow

You are amazing baby, wrapped up in my arms like a little bow

Without you in my life, it would have made me feel so low

Waiting that little longer to hold you, I knew that together our love would grow

What Happened After NICU – Update

Our NICU twin really struggled when we were back home to feel secure. She had to be on me or breastfeeding in order to not cry. She barely slept unless I was with her, and with 2 other babies to care for I couldn’t be with her non-stop for her to get enough sleep. I feel she was traumatised from the whole NICU experience and it took about 18 months for her to finally relax and feel confident that her Mummy is there for her and loves her. For anyone reading this with a higher needs baby as a result of a similar traumatic birth or NICU experience, rest assured, being a gentle parent will help them get there. Our intensive care twin now is growing independent of me, loves playing with her sister and brother. She also sleeps quite heavily and for the recommended hours, and I no longer worry that she’s traumatised.

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